Carleton Class of 1987

 

 

 

Aging Liberal Arts Geek Quiz

As we pass the age of forty (which we should now define as 'early middle-age'), we reflect on our lives, what we've done, what we have yet to do, and what we have completely failed to do.

Nothing drives home this feeling of helplessness and general ineptitude than the regular 'Voice coming in the mailbox, telling us how great other Carleton people have managed to be in comparison.

It's high time we did something about this sheer mediocrity; it's time we came up with some Damn good excuses.

Take the following quiz and see how you do. Submit your answers and our experts will compile the results and do something stunning with them. Or just reflect on your answers and sink into a melancholy funk.

 

1) Book, Shmook

You've been planning on writing that novel and getting a notice in the fine print at the back of the 'Voice since you first graduated and lived on Ramen noodles in a coop in Minneapolis. So where is it, already?

My dog ate it

My child ate it

I ate it

It's all in my mind.  I just have to type it up.

Other

2) The Best Defense Still Sucks

Your [child|dog] gets beaten up at [school|doggy-daycare]. What do you do?

Pretend it didn't happen

Ask your child if they used their words when there was no fist in the way

Teach them how to self-resuscitate

Act  nostalgic, remembering how many times it happened to you

Other

3) I Got Rennaissance Comin' Outta my Nose

Most great artists in the world were dead by our age; what have we achieved in 40+ years? What is your Everest, your Mona Lisa, your Twinky Sculpture that you would like to accomplish before they pry your cold, dead fingers from the TV remote?

Have a Letter to the Editor rejected by the New York Times

Achieve the world's record for number of decaf espresso shots in a single Lattaccino

Finish recording that dulcimer ACDC cover album

Create the next deep-fried trend for the state fair

Other

4) Your [child|dog] asks for help on their homework, but you don't understand the questions. What do you say?

My brain cells are too full of liberal arts content

Ask your [Mother | Father | other Mother | other Father]

Zzzzzzz

57

Other

5) Hume discussed the Socratic "Diatribe on Knowledge" and contrasted it with the proliferation of pickles in the fast food industry.  Explain.

  

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