| (Northfield, Routers, about a year
ago. News travels slow in the MidWest. By mule, ya know.) With a
swiftness and ruthlessness heretofore unknown in this quiet little
hamlet we call "Carleton", Becky "Slasher" Zrimsek
and her minions have staged a bloodless coup and taken over the powerful
College Alumni Affairs Office.
Even as we partied on with the geezers and whippersnappers at Reunion
2002, Ms. Z was quietly plotting the overthrow of the then-reigning
Alumni Queen, Joan Higinbotham, . It took some time for the
insidious plans to come to fruition, but Ms. Z eventually succeeded in
her nefarious plot and as 2004 got off to a quiet start, Ms. Z ascended
to the throne of Ultimate Power. |
"Oh," she was quoted as saying, "it was
nothing. A memo here, a Mickey there, and -poof!- I'm the
Queen! And it's good to be the Queen..."
Ms. Higinbotham, asleep in a gutter, could not be reached for
comment.
What has this college come to when honest and diligent Alumni Queens
like Ms. H can be deposed so quickly, thrown out onto the snow and ice
like so much Eelpout fresh from the ice hole? Are we to stand for
this? Are we to take this lying down? Or are we just
going to sit here?
This reporter doesn't know. He just weeps for causes lost, and
careers shattered. |
